Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Hysteria? I was expecting Common Sense… Please knock on someone else’s door.

Sorry. I had to get that out of my system after reading this story. The summary, or cliff notes version is this:

A woman is at home with her two children. A delivery driver (UPS maybe or FedEx? It doesn’t say) rings the doorbell to the house and doesn’t get an answer.

What would YOU do?

Nothing? Me either. Not the case here though. After getting no answer at the door, the driver calls child protection services.

That’s basically the whole story.

The people of the internet lost their damn minds…

I didn’t do an official count but the reactions seemed to be equally mixed with about half of the people applauding this driver for calling attention to a situation where children may have been in danger and predicting that had the mom actually been incapacitated, said driver would’ve been hailed a hero.

And the other half outraged about invasion of privacy, parent shaming, peeing at the wrong time and possibly going to jail etc.

I found some of the comments to be so very… passionate… about a situation where no one knows the real story.

More upsetting/disturbing to me than the story were some of the comments:

“First of all she was too freaking lazy to answer a door or get dressed? That is just pathetic. Second when lazy wouldn’t answer the door the driver knew the kids were there so anyone would reasonably assume they are either alone or something had happened to the adult there thus making them alone. The driver was 100 percent correct. If people don’t get involved that’s how you end up with dead and abused children.”

-Worst Case Scenario on top of extremely judgmental.

“Sometimes welfare checks and CPS go hand in hand.Some people use their welfare money to buy drugs and not buy food for the home…even if it’s in a card form.They will find someone they trust to buy food in return for cash(to buy drugs, cigarettes, liquor).Cash money for the same purpose.Those kids could have been found in an unclean, unsanitary home and fetching for themselves…never know. The system needs to drug test people that get welfare aid…”

-Obviously misguided as to the term welfare check.

“Nope this was a waste of time. I don’t answer my door 90% why because only strangers knock on my freaking door.  I don’t want to talk to people about their religions, about what they are selling this week, or why the hell they ignored my trespassing signs. I do however answer the door for fedex, and ups.”

-The Other Side of the Coin.

“If u read it correctly She said 3 cop cars showed up and the driver had called CPS . NOT that CPS showed up at her door!!  What and who gives u the right to automatically ASSUME this was a welfare check?”

-Very Concerned with the distinction between the police and CPS.

What I don’t understand is why people haven’t asked the two most important questions that matter…

My first one being, how old are the children? From the picture, they certainly look old enough to dial 911 if needed.

Second, how did the driver know (or think he knew) the kids were home alone?

In my opinion, the author(s), I’ve read two articles about this same story by two different authors and neither of them provided enough information for anyone to be judging anything.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt, it’s nice to think that people are looking out for each other. That people want to help, are checking on children and alerting people who have the authority to investigate a situation that may be… dangerous.

On the other hand, I certainly don’t want to live in a world that thinks I’m “lazy and pathetic” because I don’t want to get dressed by -maybe the entire day. Not because I’m lazy, but because I don’t feel good a lot of the time. I have trouble, on occasion, getting dressed. I also have anxiety and I don’t want to have to worry that the cops are going to show up, interrogating me because I didn’t answer the door for a stranger!

Can we all just agree to maybe use our heads and common sense a little more before we start pitching fits and throwing punches?

Within reason… Somebody NOT answering their door because they’re in Pj’s is NOT suspicious activity!



This Will Be My Last Post…

Breathe. This will be my last post, written as a 38 year old.


Saturday is my birthday. Last year at this time, I had a psychic reading done. It was an emotional experience and I recall her telling me that my New Year’s Day should be celebrated on my birthday day. It is the beginning of a new year, for me.

And this year? Man, am I ever ready to be done with THIS year. It has been a difficult year, more specifically, a difficult 6 months.

It has been a year of greats. Greatest year of loss. Of grief. Of growth. Of curiosity. Of finding purpose. Of productivity. Of creativity. Of dancing, ever so carefully as to not disrupt the balance of things. Crying when I need to cry, screaming when I’m angry, asking for help when I can’t do it on my own. I have lived more life in this year alone than in all of my 37 previous years combined.

I am grateful. I am angry. I am sorrowful. I see more beauty and focus less on the ugly. I try to understand it rather than judge it. I have a long way to go AND I have come a long way.

October 10th will be the one year mark of my working. It’s not a lot of hours but it’s what I can do to feel good about myself and it beats the hell out of being unemployed.

I have survived (thus far) raising a teenager… (and a husband).

I have lost a son and a sister.

I have gained the strength, confidence and trust of strangers because some part of each of our stories intersect.

I moved from a townhouse to an apartment and have actually MET some of my neighbors, as in more than the ONE I knew at the townhouse we lived in for five years.

I started this blog and have written consistently, twice a week, since March. I have begun writing a book.

I deserve the t-shirt I saw the other day. It had a picture of a Buddha sitting on a Lotus flower and it reads “Mindful As Fuck”. Yep, that sums it up.

I had been feeling nervous about turning another year older… like it was going to somehow sneak up on me and take me by surprise. HA! IN YOUR FACE. YOU’RE ALMOST 40! By now, you should be living in a house. Working a job that pays at least minimum wage for 40 hours a week. Know how to change my own oil in my car. You know, adult stuff. Do it. All. Right now. Or, you fail. You fail life.

As you can see, sometimes spending too much time by myself is not a good thing.

Just as I was having trouble breathing, I got an email. “Another 9 Inspirational Older People Who Still Kick Ass”. There was a video link for one of the examples, watch it now, here. Seriously, go watch it. Are you watching?

Wasn’t that INCREDIBLE? A.Fucking.Mazing! And one of the judges said something to the effect of “I hope I can move like that when I’m your age” What? I’d hope to be able to move like that at ANY age!

Anyway, watching that video… it was inspiration for me. It eased the tension and anxiety. Helped me to see clearly, life isn’t over. Sometimes it can feel like that but I do know how to navigate (for the most part) and I have two more guardian angels to watch over me as I do my/our work of being our best selves and leaving the world a better place than we found it.